Comparison Kills

I heard my colleague say that “comparison is the thief of joy”.

Let’s be real for a sec? Regardless of how good you are in your field, be it blogging, career-wise, as a wife, a mom, student – we compare ourselves to the people on our social media feeds. I’ve got my hand all the way up for this one. Instead of feeling fulfilled in all the mountains that we have moved in our own lives, we look at Susan’s feed and feel like we haven’t done enough yet. Like we haven’t reached the bar.

I had a real conversation with someone who manages to put out blog content about 3 times a week, while being a full-time corporate adult, married with 3 kids. Before this conversation, this person legit made me feel like I was being mediocre in all areas of the word without it being their intention at all. When we spoke about it, I realized that it takes her just as much effort and sacrifice (actually, way more) to keep going at life in general. Throw in the fact that life happens to all of us at different degrees of crazy and we’ve gotta pause and take care of stuff. She made me see the actual picture. Not the peachy, well-edited version of life that people put out there. She shared with me the realness that is life. I felt a wave of peace sweep over me when I thought about that conversation on my way home.

The thing is, nobody’s life is all sunsets and roses and pretty clothes and beautiful edits and blog posts with 10 000+ impressions at every attempt. Unless you’re Kim K, because then that’s completely how you roll. We all highlight what we often times think will make people “like” us more. We forget that there is a definite need for realness in the world. People who show themselves as they are, with all of their humanness showing.

Being real is a big deal for me. #issabigdeal. It’s what made me fall for the man I married, it’s the foundation of all of the solid relationships I have built up. It is the reason why I would rather avoid someone than to fake a smile for the sake of not hurting someone’s feelings. I cant deal with fakeness. #issanofromme

The truth of the matter is that we are all influencers, whether you’d like to claim the title or not. What I say and do affects the people around me – the ones who follow my content on social media, the ones who read my blog posts and the ones I encounter face to face.

So while I have this power, I’m going to do my best to make sure my influence does as much good as possible. That it gives courage, strength, motivation, inspiration and sparks a confidence that is not affected by what we see on the internet.

Do you boo! We need you to be 100% yourself. You owe that to yourself and so many people who see you do life. We see you and we appreciate the hard work you’re putting into becoming a better version of yourself daily.

Keep grinding!


  • Venean

    Definitely…. It’s so much easy to show what you think people want to see because the real… It’s unattractive but so important to know that’s its there

  • Bronwyn

    I started a YouTube channel simply because I got alot of questions about how I do my makeup etc….I got advice like “follow other makeup artists so you can learn from them” and me always eager to learn I did just that,I saw the type of pictures they post,the events they get invited to and the list goes on,things that didn’t seem to be happening in my life and in my own little head I kept telling myself “but im better than most of them”why dont I get “that many likes” or subscribers or whatever makes u feel like “u made it in life”,I found myself in a very dark place,I didn’t upload any videos,didnt post any looks,it was only me and God that knew what went through my head….I took a step back,prayed about and realized that it was simply coz I compared myself to others instead of focusing on what I wanted to achieve with my channel,it was never for likes,subscribers or fame,it was to show the average person with no makeup skills that its possible to achieve certain looks with little experience or budget….I guess what im trying to say is one should find your own trade and KEEP DOING YOU,coz u can put your own growth on hold because u peeking and what your neighbor is doing,
    Run your own race,the purpose is not to get there In the quickest time but to eventually finish the race no matter the time…I like the example of the popcorn….Put all the kernels in the same pot of oil but each one will pop when its their time…..

  • Samantha

    Oh how you spoke to my soul on this. I feel like so much of our lives are on Social media and we need that assurance from others. That’s why I feel we compare. It’s not just self comparison, but others comparing you to something or someone else. Gosh, I feel it as a mom almost every day. Example, just the other day I had a friend compare my kid to her kid when Maddy was her age. It made me feel all kinds of ways. She’s a close friend and I can’t believe she just said that. Anyway, I came to the conclusion of just staying focused on Maddison and screw what others think.

    • Deenah

      Its become such a norm that people dont even think it to be hurtful. You’re doing a great job at this mom business babe, keep doing you!

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