Dear Telemarketer, may I have a word with you?


Firstly, thanks to everyone for sending all the love vibes my way. The break from as much social media interactions as possible, was absolutely necessary and much appreciated.

So, I work for an asset management company. We basically do our best to grow your money by investing in listed instruments. I am in operations and part of my duties is switchboard, marketing management, Friday cake treats and the list goes on. I prefer to call myself the “Ops Queen”. That being said, I am the one that blocks all the unnecessary marketing calls from going anywhere close to the rest of the team, unless we’re actually interested in the service or product being sold. You can imagine how many of these calls and emails I get through on any given day and not all these marketers are courteous enough to accept when I say “We are unfortunately not interested at this time”.

I’ve been screamed at, threatened, called racist on many occasions. In the beginning it shook me, because who the heck do you think you are to speak to ME like that?! Luckily, these things grow on you. It stops phasing you and you realize that its just a desperate cry for business. Also very counter-productive, might I add.

Anyways, in my endless battle with telemarketers, I thought I’d share a few thoughts that go through my head while either reading these emails for invitations to events way out of our sphere of business or while listening to you (Mr Telemarketer) ramble off the speech that you prepared for me.

1. Why do you assume that I actually have 15 minutes on the phone to argue with you about why I do not need what you are selling? This blows my mind every time. If I said “no thanks, I’m not interested”, believe it or not, I’m really not interested. Firstly, because I already have a cellphone contract and taking up another one with you would not exactly benefit me in any way. Also, this is a decision that I prefer making when I feel like it and when I have decided that I want to do it.

2. Asking me for names and numbers of 5 friends who I think might benefit from your product/service. Firstly, Terrence, it’s actually illegal for me to just dish out someone else’s personal details without their consent. Secondly, I really like the people I surround myself with and would not want to tick them off by getting them a complimentary unwanted phone call for Christmas.

3. This one applies to my work situation: Calling me “madam in charge” because your email didn’t get to the CEO of the company. Someone actually threatened to get the CEO’s contact details and then email them directly about how I’m “blocking” them. Actually, I’m thinking that if that information was so easily obtainable, why did you waste your time trying to chat me up? How exactly do you reckon you’ll get a recommendation for business after threatening an employee of the CEO that you are “entitled” to speak to? Clearly you didn’t think that one through, neh? There’s a reason why CEO’S employ people to work under them – you are part of the reason.

4. This actually happens ALL THE TIME:

*Phone rings*

Me: Good day, Eridene speaking

TM: Hi could I speak to Eridene please (I roll my eyes and confirm that its Eridene speaking)

TM: How are you today?

ME: I’m well thanks

TM: I’m good thanks for asking (I blink audibly)

The fact that you are making up responses in your head that you didn’t even get, kinda tells me that you’re on autopilot. I’m not sure whether I actually want to buy something from someone whose not fully present. And the fact that you don’t listen, that is a problem for me.


Now that I’ve hopefully made you nod in agreement or laugh at my pain, be a darling and share your frustrations in the comments section? I cant promise that I wont laugh out loud!




  • Ashley

    I feel your pain! I get it at my day job too. I really feel sorry for the telemarketers though – they have a terrible job and must be so bored. However, I also cut them off asap. (I obviously already HAVE a cellphone because you just phoned me on it. No, we don’t need a printer. We have three already. Etc)

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