It was all a dream…


I swear my life is based on song lyrics. Way back then, I used to annoy my husband by being able to conjure up an oldie for just about anything that he would say. This post is not about that though.

The other night I dreamt that I had fallen on my head and was applying relaxer to my very natural hair. Okay, the falling on my head part was not in the dream. What bothered me most about this madness, is that I was so super chilled about what I was actually doing. I woke up and rebuked the devil! Just kidding. I was a bit concerned by the fact that I was so chilled about this in my dream. Surely this cant be what’s floating around in my subconscious? Be that as it may, it made me think of all the times people made remarks about my natural hair state and how I had to keep my composure every time, because its rude to always speak your mind. Especially if your mind is 80% sarcasm.

And here goes…

1. How does your husband run his fingers through that hair?

Firstly, Gladys, why is that even something you’re thinking about? We don’t live in the days of Bold and Beautiful and I am not Brooke Logan. You are weird. I must say that my loving hubsticle has been my biggest support on this journey. He has no hangups about appearance, although he doesn’t neglect to tell me how beautiful I am, every chance he gets. I think this made my transition so much more bearable than most, because he is in it with me. Hubsticle for the win! Also, how does your husband run his fingers through your hair when you’re wearing a swirlkous??


2. So when are you gonna relax your hair again?

Going natural for me, meant that I decided to embrace the texture and go for gold. Now, don’t get me wrong here. I’m not throwing umbrellas at people who might have changed their minds along the way. Its about feeling the way you want to about your whole insides and outsides. That being said, while you can imagine what an inward (and outward) daily grind it is for me to deal with society’s conditioned mindset about what I’m supposed to look like, why on earth would you even ask me that?


3. This one from people who are completely ignorant to the fact that we all have different textures – How do you get your hair “big” one day and then its a “small afro” the next?

At this point I’m just about rolling my eyes outta my head. What do I even say to this? I can’t even, I really can’t. All I can say is that this hair of mine has a will and personality of its own. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


4. The winning line that bowled me over – Wont having your hair like that cause it to break?

That logic though. Gosh. So the thing about being natural is that you ACTUALLY don’t put any chemicals on your hair, which is the main cause of breakage. Which means that while I was relaxing my hair, I was actually damaging it so much. So why would not relaxing, have the same effect?

I realize that sometimes people blurt out things without thinking. Especially when faced with unfamiliar situations. In this case – a girl with a curly bush on her head. So I extend grace upon grace for the ignorance, but really now mense – get with the times! This natural hair thing has blown up to the point where its everywhere you look. So, lets all together now, take off our blinkers and look around us. Still got mad love for all the naturalistas who are bold and brave enough to rock that hair, regardless of whether your a corporate adult (like me), or whether you’re off doing whatever you want.

What are some of the most bizarre statements people make about your hair?



  • Melissa Javan

    Yor, people actually ask you things like “how does your husband run his fingers through your hair”? Hectic
    I can so relate to the big afro and small afro thing.

  • Courtney Williams

    I get questions like;
    – Are you wearing a wig?
    – How do you comb or deal with that bush?
    Oh and even statements like;
    – Your hair looks hard, lol kaantie hulle ken min!

    Believe it or not people are hectic outchea

  • Devonia Such

    I feel like this blog post is a guide to “what to expect when you get home.” I would occasionally get questions like is that a wig? Can I touch it? Two german girls on separate occasions stuck their faces full on in my hair!! One of them saying it looked like candyfloss, so irresistible. I swear it was only the Lord who gave me the grace and patience not to punch them in their faces afterward!

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